Surrender you say? Give up? Admit defeat? Never, never, never. How could you even suggest that I lay down my sword and surrender to the “enemy”?

We can’t even begin to tell you how many times we have heard these and similar words echoed in our work with clients. Once we explain that “the enemy is you” it catches people off guard unsure of exactly what we mean. So what does it mean to live in a “Surrendered Action” state of being? The basic premise of this principle is in the understanding that you can’t and don’t control anything or anyone. Consequently, you are only left with yourself. As you take the time to listen to what your brain does each and every day you’ll see how you react, retort, judge, manipulate, control and criticize without even being aware you are doing so. Then you will act in an annoyed, angry, frustrated manner with some form of behavior that attempts to make you feel superior and self righteous.

We all hate to admit it, but most of us live in this secret world in our minds of negativity and unhappiness far too much of the time judging what is right or wrong. Suffice it to say, none of us want to be labeled victims. But isn’t this exactly how we are reacting when the world around us doesn’t cooperate on our terms? Most people are wired to react negatively and the only one they are making miserable is themselves. Although, there are many people who want to see others be miserable along with them. Suppose there was a way to relinquish these negative reactions when the external world doesn’t oblige? Well guess what? There is! Hence, “Surrendered Action”.

I had a wonderful mentor and spiritual teacher many years ago who taught me the lesson to “do what I can, let go of what I can’t and let the chips fall where they may”. This phrase has been significant in learning the meaning and practice of “Surrendered Action”. Try the following steps and see what happens. Have your own experience of “Surrendered Action” and find the gifts of freedom embedded in it. The great paradox is that it is in surrender that we find freedom. As always, it’s an inside job.

1. Pick one situation upon starting your day that gets you thinking negatively (too many red lights on the way to work, thoughtless drivers, a colleague who pushes your buttons, negative thoughts about going to work, your child moving too slowly in the morning, the wait at the restaurant, etc.) that you want to practice surrendering.

2. Once you pick this situation go about your day paying close attention to when it begins to activate your negativity.

3. As soon as you catch it, tell yourself “I am now choosing to surrender to this situation and I refuse to identify with the anger and the script in my mind. I have no power over it/him/her”

4. Take a couple of deep breaths and focus only on being peaceful, patient and joyful. Turn your attention away from the negative thoughts. That’s all there is to it. This is the Surrendered Action.

Practicing “Surrendered Action” repeatedly will take you to a place of empowerment instead of victimization. It is quiet and it dwells deep within you.