How to beat the “Economy Blues”

Notice, Observe and Don’t Judge….

It is said that, wherever you go, there you are! Yet, how present are you at any given time and place? Many people appear in body, but little else. It’s as if their minds and energy are miles away.
Being present (where your feet are) in each moment whether tasking, spending time with your friends, family or clients demonstrates an uncanny ability to live in the “NOW” instead of the past or the future. After all, we only have this moment.

“Listening and being present is a magnetic and creative force. When we really listen to people there is an alternating current, and this recharges us so that we never get tired of each other. We are constantly being re-created.”Be Where Your Feet Are! (Being Present)
It is said that, wherever you go, there you are! Yet, how present are you at any given time and place? Many people appear in body, but little else. It’s as if their minds and energy are miles away. Don’t get marked as “Missing in Action” by only being present in body.

We encounter so many people in our daily lives that appear to be present. However, their minds and attention are often elsewhere. How often do you experience only getting somebody’s partial attention, because in their minds they are back at the office, dealing with the kids, still in that meeting,(all things associated with the past) or thinking of the next task to be completed, worrying about a deadline or a parent/teacher conference they have to go to (all things associated with the future). It is really quite challenging to be present in each moment. It requires a lot of mindfulness as well as surrendering to each moment, letting go of past and present in each moment. As you read below see if you can identify both as the recipient and as the culprit.

Here are just a few examples of what I have experienced when people are not present, including myself.

Disconnected: He never said a word to me as he loaded my order into the back of my SUV. He was too busy jamming out to his IPod. He turned and said loudly, sign here please! The first thing I noticed as I took the clipboard from him was that the name at the top of the invoice was not mine. I turned and looked at the large box now sitting in the back of my SUV, and saw that it too was not mine. I got his attention by waving my hands in front of his face. This was a task in itself as his head was bouncing around with the music. He looked at me like I was bugging him as he removed one earpiece, and said half-heartedly, “what”?

One sided: I was having lunch with a friend a few days ago in a nice little eatery. My friend and I were catching up on the weeks events when his cell phone rang. Not just a ring, but more like a ring with the phone vibrating while making a loud sound, all simultaneously. He began to talk to the person on the other end, and soon I realized that he was no longer at the table, and for that matter, the room! In essence, I ended up eating half of my lunch “alone”, and felt this time we had carved out to be together was compromised.

A warm body: I got together with an old friend not too long ago, and she talked non-stop for close to an hour. Not once did she inquire how I was doing, or what was going on in my life. I made a few attempts to self disclose, and it only became a springboard for her next diatribe. I literally felt like “the warm body” sitting across from her, and that I could have been interchanged with anybody. She was not present, or attentive, in a way that creates connection and closeness. It was very challenging for me as well: spacing out and feeling annoyed.

Fret and Worry: I awakened at 2:00 in the morning and started to worry about my upcoming trip. I was telling myself that I could get stuck in Dallas and miss my connecting flight. I started worrying about the return trip home through Chicago and what if there’s bead weather. I was all over the map with my thinking and not aware of the moment. Had I been, I would have drifted back off to sleep.

The above are just a few examples of what happens to all of us every day. I bet you could add quite a few of your own. Don’t be one of the “Missing in action”! Be where your feet are and give full attention to that moment. Customers, friends, family and colleagues will enjoy their interactions with you a great deal more if you are present.
Listed below is a simple self-audit that may help you be more present and accounted for.

Ask yourself the following:
• Do I greet people with genuine affection, with smiling eyes?
• Do I know, and use their name? Am I pronouncing it correctly?
• Am I giving them my undivided attention?
• Am I giving good and consistent eye contact?
• Am I preoccupied with something or someone and not engaged?
• Am I preoccupied with an upcoming event or interaction?
• Am I being easily distracted?
• Is my cell phone turned off?
• Am I fully engaged in the moment or is my mind drifting into the future or past?

• Most important………..We must be able to notice our thoughts, observe where they are going and without judgment, surrender them and come back into the “NOW”

In today’s world, people seem to be in such a hurry, moving at light-speed, while multi-tasking with cell phones, blackberry’s, day timers, and with the daily responsibilities of life itself. Take a breath and think about this for a moment. What do your clients, friends, and family, really want? I have found time and again that what they want is the same thing we all want; to be heard, understood, and valued, demonstrated by giving our full attention. To do this, you must be Present! Not just in body, but in your total Being!

Help the person that you are with feel connected and important. Show them you care. Treat them as if they’re the most important person in the world. Your undivided attention will not only go along way, but will demonstrate to the people you’re with that you are truly available and accessible. There is no substitute for connection and being present. The rewards we reap are endless. People will walk away after an interaction with you and over time might not remember what you said, but they will remember how they felt in your presence.

Today, go out into the world and be mindful of every interaction you involve yourself in. Make it a point to be fully engaged in that interaction. See how it works. Explore the outcome for yourself. Draw your own conclusions. Have fun!

Bob & Brad

Thepowerofthanks.com

Surrender you say? Give up? Admit defeat? Never, never, never. How could you even suggest that I lay down my sword and surrender to the “enemy”?

We can’t even begin to tell you how many times we have heard these and similar words echoed in our work with clients. Once we explain that “the enemy is you” it catches people off guard unsure of exactly what we mean. So what does it mean to live in a “Surrendered Action” state of being? The basic premise of this principle is in the understanding that you can’t and don’t control anything or anyone. Consequently, you are only left with yourself. As you take the time to listen to what your brain does each and every day you’ll see how you react, retort, judge, manipulate, control and criticize without even being aware you are doing so. Then you will act in an annoyed, angry, frustrated manner with some form of behavior that attempts to make you feel superior and self righteous.

We all hate to admit it, but most of us live in this secret world in our minds of negativity and unhappiness far too much of the time judging what is right or wrong. Suffice it to say, none of us want to be labeled victims. But isn’t this exactly how we are reacting when the world around us doesn’t cooperate on our terms? Most people are wired to react negatively and the only one they are making miserable is themselves. Although, there are many people who want to see others be miserable along with them. Suppose there was a way to relinquish these negative reactions when the external world doesn’t oblige? Well guess what? There is! Hence, “Surrendered Action”.

I had a wonderful mentor and spiritual teacher many years ago who taught me the lesson to “do what I can, let go of what I can’t and let the chips fall where they may”. This phrase has been significant in learning the meaning and practice of “Surrendered Action”. Try the following steps and see what happens. Have your own experience of “Surrendered Action” and find the gifts of freedom embedded in it. The great paradox is that it is in surrender that we find freedom. As always, it’s an inside job.

1. Pick one situation upon starting your day that gets you thinking negatively (too many red lights on the way to work, thoughtless drivers, a colleague who pushes your buttons, negative thoughts about going to work, your child moving too slowly in the morning, the wait at the restaurant, etc.) that you want to practice surrendering.

2. Once you pick this situation go about your day paying close attention to when it begins to activate your negativity.

3. As soon as you catch it, tell yourself “I am now choosing to surrender to this situation and I refuse to identify with the anger and the script in my mind. I have no power over it/him/her”

4. Take a couple of deep breaths and focus only on being peaceful, patient and joyful. Turn your attention away from the negative thoughts. That’s all there is to it. This is the Surrendered Action.

Practicing “Surrendered Action” repeatedly will take you to a place of empowerment instead of victimization. It is quiet and it dwells deep within you.

How many times do we ask ourselves what we are doing here on earth? What is this ride really supposed to be about, and what is my part in this huge cosmic scheme? When you awaken in the morning and start the new day, do you feel direction in your life along with a sense of purpose and meaning? As you retire at night do you feel you have contributed something of value that makes you feel good about what you put into the mainstream of life today?

These questions, however we ask them are an inescapable part of our existence and journey throughout this life time. So many people walk through their life unconscious, disconnected, numbed out and clueless, in regard to what their purpose is for being here. When I, Bob, was in college, I had an opportunity to do community based work in a little school house for Special Needs kids as a way of earning college credit. It was in the 60s, during the time of “Tune in, Turn on, and Drop Out” and with no shortage of “Altered State” experiences; the opportunity to work with these kids was the highlight of my college years.

I felt so gratified in the sharing of myself with those in need. And the receptivity and appreciation that I experienced from these kids was without parallel.   I knew, without knowing, that I had found my Passion and Purpose. It took many years to let go of self defeating behaviors and attitudes in order to recognize that being in service to others was my “calling”. There is no doubt in my mind that I was tapping into my authenticity when in service to these kids.

When you look at the work you do and the roles you play as parent, partner, community member, son/daughter, etc. it is quickly evident that there is some form of service embedded in all of these different roles. We are inherently wired to give and to serve. Whatever these roles in service are for each of us, there is pretty much, no escaping it. Hence, if we live from a getting paradigm we really miss the boat as to what our Passion and Purpose is.

There are obstacles, pitfalls, self defeating behaviors and beliefs that inhibit your capacity to fulfill your Passion and Purpose. They each have elements of fear which creates separation from our own authenticity.

The first obstacle we want to share with you is the “Pleasing Others” Syndrome (also referred to as Co-Dependence). If in your work/service experience there is a predisposition to look for approval, to be constantly worrying about pleasing others, this focus gets in the way of the joy and gratification that accompanies the work you are doing. It creates a burden and heaviness when the primary motive is about seeking validation. Embedded in this dynamic is a tremendous amount of fear and insecurity.

This fear can grip you in a way that creates more and more anxiety about performance and approval ratings, and thus robs you of the dopamine response (natural opiates in the brain) that is released when we are giving from a place of authenticity. It is not so much how you are in service to others as it is where you are coming from attitudinally. The more you unleash and dig out your fears, the more you will gravitate towards the Passion and Purpose that is waiting to reveal itself within you.

When we speak of fears it is in reference to the self deception, the limitations and the erroneous belief systems that inhibit going for your Greatness. Needless to say, there are healthy fears that keep you safe and protected. These fears are wired into our brains so that we don’t put ourselves in harms way. The trick is being able to distinguish when it is truly our healthy fear responses being activated vs. a distorted belief that you need constant approval or validation for you to matter.

The second obstacle to living from a place of Passion and Purpose is the attitude and accompanying behaviors that say you must be the “Superstar”. Again, fear is going to be dwelling at the core of this ideology you live from. When you work from a place of Kindness, Compassion and Empathy, these forms of vulnerability become very empowering.

To operate from arrogance (I do no wrong) leaves you without humility, which is a fundamental part of   fulfilling Passion and Purpose. We have to be willing and able to forgive our mistakes and allow for error, as long as we are honestly working towards the greater good of those we serve. When you can honestly say that you have given of yourself for fun and for free, without the need of reward or recognition, then you are living in a state of Passion and Purpose.

The third pitfall that stands in the way of living from an authentic place of Passion and Purpose is leaving your spirit out of the process. Passion and Purpose bring with it a creative energy that feels fulfilling. You can feel tired at the end of the day as a result of the work you have done, but to equal measure there is energy that you experience as a result of the creative process.

In the corporate world, individuals have been taught to leave their soul out of the equation. If we don’t bring our soul to work, then climbing the corporate ladder or creating business “success” is an empty experience that leaves you pushing, pushing and pushing looking for that elusive thing we call happiness and fulfillment. Bringing our spirit and soul to work is the happiness and fulfillment.

The fourth obstacle that stands in the way of fulfilling Passion and Purpose is perfectionism. The perfectionist has unrealistic expectations of themselves and others. If you are invested in always being right, in making others wrong, this will greatly inhibit your pursuit of happiness and create a barrier in the fulfilling of your Passion and Purpose.

We can all strive for excellence without the need to dominate, control and be critical of ourselves and others. Once again, the lack of compassion, kindness and empathy, dwells at the center of perfectionism. And embedded at the core, is fear. When you live from a critical and controlling place the unauthentic response to being challenged will create defensiveness. As a result, there will be disconnection and alienation, even if you’re right.

All of the above obstacles and pitfalls are centered in fear. Out of the fear a belief system of selfishness and self centeredness is designed. These pitfalls are so embedded into our work culture that they are seen as normal. Fortunately, more and more of us are awakening to the need for change and finding ways to be fulfilled and happy in service to others.

Natural law will always work on our behalf when we are fulfilling our Passion and Purpose. As you follow your calling, people, resources and support systems will just show up. You are no different than a lighthouse with its beacon showing the way home to the ships at sea. The life force within each of us is the core of our authenticity and hence, our creativity. When connected to this deep place within we will circumvent fear and attract all of the good we could ever imagine.

Below are a few questions to ask yourself in your pursuit of Passion and Purpose.

1. What excites you in a way that you would want to participate in daily?
2. When you are doing this exciting thing, does time and space temporarily cease to exist?
3. Do you feel challenged at a physical, emotional and spiritual level?
4. Is there a sense of accomplishment, fulfillment and achievement that manifests from these challenges?
5. When participating in what excites you, do you have a clear sense that this is what you want to be doing?
6. Do you enjoy this work so much that you would do it for free?
7. Do you get excited when you talk to others about what you do?

If you can answer yes to all of these questions you are certainly living from a place of Passion and Purpose. If you find you just wake up to go to your job without the accompanying passion, creativity and excitement, give yourself permission to get support. You deserve to feel fulfilled in this lifetime, and to be able to look back and feel you’ve made a difference for the better of mankind and/or the planet.

Please feel free to contact Bob and Brad at info@thepowerofthanks.com.This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it  We love hearing from you. Barring any additional unforeseen circumstances, we should have our blog up and running within the next 2 weeks. We look forward to hearing from each of you and weighing in on thoughts, ideas and feelings as well as the sharing of your wisdom.

Blessings,

Bob and Brad

e-News from TWD

July, 2008

$300 billion a year in productivity losses!

e-News Archives

Greetings;

During This time of Recession we are already reading a host of “How to Survive Articles” as well as “Quick Fix Systems” that the “experts” are capitalizing on.

The Disengaged!

The secret to keeping your business viable and thriving during this time is to maintain impeccability with existing integrity in all that you do as a business leader.

The secret is to engage your employees so that they want to keep coming to work and producing. Studies are revealing that well over 50% of our American Workforce are not engaged in their work. Estimates that “actively disengaged” workers are costing US businesses $300 billion a year in productivity losses!

There is no shortage of skilled and bright people to employ. What is missing however is the matching of their skills with the positions they’ll enjoy. Creating a good match between the employee and the job they are hired to do will make them eager to produce and they’ll want to learn more and stay engaged in their work.

Your job as leader is to inspire, support, challenge and provide them the necessary resources to keep them growing, learning and achieving. How you treat your employees is the other part of the equation.

Reducing benefits, fear tactics, layoffs and threats have been too prevalent, even in times of abundance, and they are becoming increasingly so as people get scared with their financial concerns and the overall economic challenges. How you treat your employees will translate in how they treat each other, your customers and to a large degree their family members. This ultimately makes the difference in whether your company thrives through the recession.

As money becomes more of an issue and the economy struggles, we absolutely believe you are smart enough, bright enough and aware enough as a business leader to create the needed changes within your business. Since you already know yourself, your employees and your customers, if you have treated them well, following these 6 non-negotiable principles will continue to pay dividends and help solidify your companies place in your industry.

These principles will afford you the opportunity to keep thriving in your business and will help secure employee engagement.

If you are struggling in your business than these 6 principles will facilitate dramatic change for your company. The greatest secret we’ve ever discovered is that the external world doesn’t affect our security.

It’s all an inside job. Once you understand that creating great success in business and maintaining it is attained through your thinking, your beliefs and your actions, then you are insulated from the ups and downs of recessions, market fluctuations and global changes.
The following are what we’ve come to understand as the principles that create, promote and sustain success while maintaining integrity.

1. Trustworthiness-Always do what you say you are going to do in a timely fashion. It can’t hurt to go above and beyond the agreed upon commitment you have made.

2. Honesty-Be impeccable with what you say to your employees and your customers. Always make good on your word. In addition assess your level of self honesty. Do you violate or adhere to your own code of ethics, even when times are tough?

3. Authenticity-Operating and acting from the core of your being. Being genuine and down to earth.

4. Neutrality-Being open minded and refraining from arrogance and self righteousness. Practicing the art of empathy to gain deep understanding of your employees and customers needs. Letting go of ulterior motives with a willingness to adjust as the external world presents opportunities (not challenges).

5. Kindness-Doing the hard to do thing because it will ease another’s burden. Taking time to value, appreciate and praise your employees and customers. Offering more, not less when you get into fear of lack, to your employees and customers.

6. Surrender-Making real what’s real. Letting go of the illusion of control. When forces at play (economic downturns, rising gas prices, etc) come at you, cease fighting and berating that which you have no control over. It is surrendering that we find true freedom and gain victory. Solutions can then be revealed.
Solution
Trans-World Dynamics (TWD) knows and understands that Engagement has to be a leadership-driven initiative from the most senior level all the way to the front line. No one affects an employee’s engagement as much as his or her immediate leader. Engaged leaders coach proactively for success, inspire loyalty and trust, and build an environment in which employees are motivated and engaged.

Through TWD’s Culture Cure Program, we drive engagement from the top down by utilizing the six steadfast principles found in the THANKs® program of Trustworthiness, Honesty, Authenticity, Neutrality, Kindness, and Surrender.

There are dozens of companies claiming to be able to solve your employee engagement issues through employee surveys, leadership assessments, employee profiles and so on and so forth.

Look, the bottom line is people! People have a basic need to be happy and to be of service. Through our extensive research we have found that Fear is the master at creating the illusion that most people believe we’ll lose something we have, or not get something we think we need or are entitled to.

Investing in your people and believing that by doing so is the stimulation that a company needs to be not only competitive but to become the vanguard of their industry. TWD is dedicated in changing the corporate culture that reaches far beyond the corporate environment but attaches itself to the very core of human relationships.
Bob Sugar, CEO and Brad Stevenson, COO of Trans-World Dynamics, LLC are invited regularly to be keynote speakers for different companies. They also write monthly articles and produce monthly podcasts on the THANKs® principles as well as address a variety of other topics. Please feel free to go to their website at www.Thepowerofthanks.com to learn more about them and their programs.

CALL or WRITE NOW to find out how they will speak at your company for FREE!

Copyright 2007 Trans-World Dynamics, LLC. All rights reserved.
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